4th March 2026
Earlier this year, James experienced a serious fall while away with his father, landing at the bottom of the stairs and breaking his back. He returned home needing pain relief medication, which brought additional challenges. For James – someone who values his privacy deeply, particularly around personal care – even talking about basic needs like bowel management was incredibly difficult. Previous experiences had left him understandably cautious and reserved.
Sherilyn Sims, Locality Manager, recalls the moment she approached James:
I sat down with him and explained that the medication he was on could affect his epilepsy if he became constipated. I told him I didn’t need to know the details, just that he could let the team know when he went to the toilet. After that conversation, he started letting us know — just the information we needed. It was such a small thing in words, but a huge step for him. It showed trust, understanding, and his willingness to work with us.
Sherilyn reflects on the care and patience it took to reach that moment:
I explained to the team that while we’re bringing in some relief colleagues because recruitment is busy at the moment, not everyone will build a relationship with James the same way. It took me four months to have that conversation with him, and that was only because he was poorly at the time and more inclined to listen. You have to pick your moment — and sometimes you have to know when not to pick your moment. That timing is key with him.
This breakthrough may seem simple, but for James, it was enormous. Diagnosed with early dementia, his independence has been impacted significantly – what was once a short walk from his bungalow to the communal area can now leave him disoriented. Activities that used to be effortless, like taking a train to visit family, now require careful support. Yet through it all, every small step of trust and shared decision is a triumph.
Sherilyn also highlights the importance of how support is offered:
James is very independent and sometimes experiences depression and psychosis. If you ask him, ‘Do you want to play a game of pool?’ he might say no. But if you say, ‘Do you fancy teaching me to play pool because I’m hopeless at it?’ he’s all in. It’s about delivery – making him feel empowered, like he’s helping, not being told what to do.
Even everyday routines can feel like victories. Moments like James sharing essential personal information with the team mark meaningful milestones. Each is celebrated quietly, respectfully, and with pride.
Supporting James has taught us all so much about patience, consistency, and respect for someone’s autonomy,” Sherilyn adds. “Continuity of care is crucial. Building trust takes time, but it’s worth it. Every step forward, every bit of independence maintained, is something we celebrate.
James’ story is a powerful example of what is possible when care is delivered with empathy, patience, and an unwavering belief in the individual. With every small victory, he demonstrates that independence, dignity, and choice can be preserved, even in the face of significant challenges
*not his real photo